Dear Life Lately

Dear New Lularoe Dress,
I'll admit it: at first I wasn't completely 100% sure about you but at this point you have absolutely served your purpose AND fully won me over.  Dang, I could wear you all the time and for pretty much every occasion imaginable!  Love that!

Dear Nephew,
DUDE. When did I give you permission to keep growing?! (Spoilers: Never!)  How are you so big and smart already?!  I love you so much, but slow down buddy! At least just a little!

Dear summer weather,
I'm ELATED that you're here!  Please stick around!!!

Dear Jess,
These past few days have been ridiculously hard - absolutely the hardest they've ever been for me in adjusting to your absence. I miss you terribly and am already counting down the days until you return.

Dear Plant Nanny app,
I've never consistently consumed water in my LIFE until you came into the picture. Your tiny, weird-looking modern dehydrated Tamagotchis have changed the game.  Keep it up, my digital friend!

A Father's Day Letter to My Husband

Dear Christopher,

I never knew you before you were a dad. Our relationship never had that time where we were "just us" - I mean, sure, I didn't get involved in Jess' life for quite awhile after we started dating, but even in the very beginning we were navigating our time together right alongside a kiddo schedule - school activities and bedtime and everything else that comes with that.

And yes, I'm sure it would've been amazing to get that time to just get to know you outside of this aspect of your identity, but I don't regret it one bit, and I'll tell you why...

For the first three months of us dating, I never saw you until after Jessica's bedtime.  You worked all day, spent all evening with her, tucked her into bed, and even waited until she was asleep before we got to spend time together.

It was hard. It was exhausting.  Sometimes it was even frustrating, I'm not gonna lie.  But ultimately, you continued on the way you knew you needed to.

After I met Jess, things were a little bit easier since I could now be involved in a different way, but your time, and ultimately our time, was still extremely affected by this tiny, hilarious, crazypants person.

I spent a fair amount of that first year exhausted and sometimes even lonely.

But Christopher, this was exactly what you needed to do.  You needed to be there for your daughter and you needed her to know it.  Especially after going back-and-forth across the country with no set schedule for a couple of years, she needed the stability of knowing that she was really home with you.

And you were going to make damn well sure she'd know it.

And it was so beautiful and attractive and wonderful to see what a heart you had for this child.  For parenthood.  I know it couldn't possibly have been easy - to not only make her your priority, but to continue making her your priority day after day, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of your whiney girlfriend, regardless of everything.  She needed your focus and attention and you gave it to her.

(INTERNET DISCLAIMER: This is not to say Chris was over here neglecting me all the time during this phase of life, and that I was constantly sitting home alone weeping and watching old Mary-Kate & Ashley VHS tapes or something, it was just that he had responsibilities that needed to come first, and he took them seriously.)

The point here is that I've never known you not to be a dad.  I have always known you as one who loves, sacrifices, cares, and embraces parenthood, even when it's a struggle.  And I am so grateful that I've been able to see you live that out from the very start.

I'm so proud to know you and especially proud of the incredible father you continue to become each and every day.

Happy Father's Day.

Less Than My Best

Dear Husband,

Despite what everyone may want the internet to believe, we are all fallible.  We all make mistakes.

Today, this was me.

I slept too long, I woke up disoriented, and I continued my day this way.

I fought wildly, and cried double that.

I got in the car and ran away.  I needed to think.  I needed to drive it off.

Today I was less than my best. Far less than my best.

But it is on these days I am most reminded of the incredible love, faith, and sanctity in marriage.

I came home still disheveled, still on edge, still not my best.  And I got a hug.  I got an "I'm sorry."  I got an "I love you."

We humans are not perfect, we will never be perfect, and I am very grateful that in our life the hard days are few and far between.  But I am also grateful for the ability to start anew. The ability to say "I'm sorry" and mean it.  It can be the hardest thing to do, and yet possibly the most important.

When I'm feeling and acting and being less than my best, when it seems impossible for anyone to love me, you do.  Thank you forever for that.

A Day In The Sun

I thank God for sunny days and for family, for cute baby smiles and jumping in lakes with little kids.  I thank God for chatting for hours and for losing track of time, for comfy rompers and even comfier conversation.  I thank God for successful surprises and for delicious sugar cookies, for long drives belting to musicals and for wanting to do it all over again.

Taking Stock: May

OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS!!  What an absolutely wild May!  Mother's Day came and went, Christopher began rehearsing for his next project, my show opened AND closed, Jess had her last concert of the year, and we had some really fun times with family and friends this month!

I literally have the most perfect nephew on earth.

Making: the most of my time this month. A lot of craziness, but a lot of fun, too!
Cooking: grilled chicken for my salad!  I've been so into it, oh my gosh.
Reading: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.. wish me luck, you guys!
Wanting: slightly more time in my day.
Looking: at my To Do list and knowing I'm gonna CRUSH it!
Playing: podcasts, 24/7. (Stuff Mom Never Told Me and The Longest Shortest Time are killer!)
Wasting: nothing!
Sewing: by now you all know the answer to this one... ahahaha

Wishing: it would be this lovely every day!
Enjoying: my mood today - just feeling extra positive!
Waiting: to get my butt into gear with this decluttering thing.
Liking: the amount of time I've gotten to spend hanging out with Jess the past week! Can't wait for the next few weeks with even more :) 
Wondering: what I'm even gonna DO with myself when Jess is gone for a while!
Loving: My life. Iced coffee. My best friends. Music. Copious amounts of highlighters.
Hoping: for a smooth transition into summer!
Marveling: at how exciting and crazy and wild and wonderful life is.
Needing: nothing, really.
Smelling: vanilla body mist like woah.
Wearing: jeans, which is super weird.
Following: my heart.
Noticing: how much attitude affects atmosphere.
Knowing: that I have the best friends on earth.
Thinking: about how loudly I'm going to belt my face off on the car ride tonight.
Bookmarking: a variety of furniture on amazon. Moving to a new space makes you want to get new furniture to fit that space perfectly, ya'll!
Opening: the dishwasher tonight to actually get some dishes done!  Hollah!
Feeling: content. Oddly, wonderfully content.

What about you? How did your May go?  
Are you taking stock of your life this month, too?  Feel free to share your URL below!