I mean, I love children - hanging out with people under the age of 18 is literally in my job description - but there's something VERY different about inviting a child who is not biologically connected to you into your life for potentially forever.
It's not bad, it's just not something that most 24-year-olds have in their life goals or dreams for the future.
So I think it's understandable to say that Christopher was not in my planbook.
And yet... it happened. Which I would assume you know from the fact that this blog has his name (and sometimes even his handsome face) all over it. Perhaps one day I will try to synthesize "our story," but for now suffice it to say that we fell in love. I fell in love with a man who had a seven (now eight!) year old daughter.
I just want to get this out of the way: Sometimes it is HARD to date a man who has a child. I may come across as super selfish and awful by saying that, but it just is. Sometimes I want Chris' attention and I need to wait before I can have it. Sometimes I want to watch my TV show in the living room and I can't (never did I ever pay attention to television ratings until now). Sometimes I want to sleep soundly but the school calls at 5am to say that it's a snow day.
Those things are a pain. They are. I'm not trying to get all "I'm a martyr" up in here, but sometimes I want to be selfish and I have to use real energy and real patience not to be.
But you know what? Sometimes I'm having a bad day and I come home to a phenomenal man and a wonderful young lady smiling at me when I walk through the door. Sometimes I get out my cell phone at parties to show people photos of the absolutely creative and brilliant things J has been making out of cardboard and tape and markers that week. Sometimes I forget how awesome the world is until I get to watch the man I love explaining something amazing to his daughter.
It may never have been my dream but I know that right now, in my life, in these unpredictable circumstances - I am so blessed. And for that I am extremely grateful.